When I decided to establish NL Business Forum, I had very little experience of business networking.

In fact, ‘very little’ may be overstating it.

Like many business owners, I understood the theory. Put a group of people in a room, add coffee and a friendly opening spiel, and meaningful business relationships will somehow emerge. But I had never really ventured into the world of organised networking myself.

My first attempts didn’t get particularly far. The first two groups I came across operated a one-person-per-profession policy, and the financial adviser seats were already taken. Before I’d even managed to perfect my introduction, I had effectively been eliminated from the competition.

So, with the confidence – or perhaps blind optimism – of someone who had no idea what he was getting himself into, I took the proverbial bull by the horns and decided to create my own.

NL Business Forum was born.

What was I expecting?

Honestly, I wasn’t entirely sure.

I knew what I didn’t want. I didn’t want people to feel pressured into delivering rehearsed sales pitches, passing referrals to meet a quota or pretending to enjoy themselves while secretly planning their escape.

I wanted to create something relaxed and inclusive: a place where businesses and organisations from across North Lanarkshire and further afield could meet, exchange ideas, share practical knowledge and build genuine relationships.

Opening the Forum to more than one person from each profession was also important. Two accountants, solicitors or financial advisers may work in the same broad field, but that doesn’t mean they offer identical services, have the same experience or work with the same types of clients. Personalities matter too. However good someone may be at what they do, not everyone will connect with them in quite the same way.

Besides, it seemed slightly hypocritical to complain about being excluded and then immediately create another exclusive club.

I had a clear idea of what I wanted the forum to become. What I didn’t know was whether anyone else would turn up.

Then the algorithm started stalking me

Once I began advertising NL Business Forum online, Facebook did what Facebook does best: it worked out what I was interested in and followed me around the internet with increasingly specific adverts.

One of those adverts promoted a free Federation of Small Businesses event in East Kilbride. In the interests of research – and being Scottish enough to recognise that the word ‘free’ generally warrants further investigation – I decided to attend.

That decision proved to be an important one.

After the meeting, Hisashie from the FSB tagged everyone who had attended in a LinkedIn post. That small action led to Lynne Hunter, founder of Scottish National Network, reaching out to me.

Lynne offered her support, introduced me to Lanarkshire Business Hub and made me aware of the Scottish National Network events she organises. It was my first proper demonstration of how networking can work when it is done well.

One event led to a LinkedIn post. The post led to a new connection. That connection led to several more introductions and opportunities.

Perhaps there was something in this networking business after all.

Support that goes beyond introductions

One of the most valuable outcomes has been the support I’ve received from organisations and individuals who genuinely want to help local businesses succeed.

Danny O’Brien from the Federation of Small Businesses has been particularly supportive of both NL Business Forum and Wealth Lab. His encouragement, introductions and willingness to help have gone well beyond simply inviting me to another networking event.

Through Business Gateway Lanarkshire, I’ve also developed a valuable connection with Donna Macleod. Donna has not only supported me personally but has actively promoted other Forum members and helped them access opportunities that may otherwise have passed them by.

For me, that demonstrates the wider value of NL Business Forum, the FSB and Business Gateway. A useful connection doesn’t necessarily end with the two people who first meet. It can create introductions, knowledge and opportunities that spread across the wider business community.

That is exactly what I hoped the Forum could help achieve.

From nervous host to networking convert

Since then, I’ve hosted the inaugural NL Business Forum meeting, which attracted 16 attendees. The biggest relief was discovering that people not only turned up, but appeared to enjoy themselves once they got there.

I’ve also attended another FSB meeting in Glasgow, become an FSB member and attended the Scottish National Network event at Celtic Park.

These experiences have opened my eyes to the different approaches to networking and shown me that there is no single correct way to do it.

I’ve given an elevator pitch – entirely unprepared the first time, confirming my status as a genuine networking virgin – tried speed networking, which you shouldn’t knock until you’ve tried, and even gained a new connection because someone outside an event happened to overhear one of my conversations and reached out afterwards.

Not every format will suit every person, but each creates different opportunities to start conversations and establish connections.

More importantly, I’ve started to build strong relationships with several people who have attended both NL Business Forum and other networking events. Familiar faces have become genuine connections, and conversations that began over coffee have continued long after the meetings finished.

That has probably been the biggest lesson from my relatively short networking career: one meeting is only the beginning.

Networking isn’t about walking into a room and leaving 90 minutes later with a fistful of business cards and three new clients. It is about becoming part of a wider business community, learning what other people do and giving relationships enough time to develop naturally.

What comes next?

The regular NL Business Forum meetings have now evolved into Coffee & Connect, giving the events a consistent identity while retaining the relaxed and informal format we started with.

Registrations for the next Coffee & Connect have already doubled compared with our inaugural meeting. For something that began with one inexperienced networker wondering whether anyone would turn up, that feels like a very encouraging step forward.

I’m also hoping to launch Curry & Connect in October, because if coffee can help people build relationships, surely curry can only improve matters.

The format may be different, but the principle will remain the same: no pressure, no forced referrals and no expectation that everyone arrives with a polished 60-second sales pitch.

Just an opportunity to meet other people, exchange ideas and establish connections that may prove valuable in ways none of us can predict at the time.

I’m still relatively new to networking and certainly wouldn’t claim to have mastered it. But I’ve already learned that sometimes the most productive thing you can do is simply turn up, start a conversation and see where it leads.

And if you can’t get into the room, there is always the option of creating your own.

Chris Mills

Founder of NL Business Forum and Partner at Wealth Lab Financial Services LLP